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November 18th, 2008
07:10 am - eeee
first of all... not to be rude to any of the ladies in here. but dont tell me what is bad for me. i dont think anyone is here to hear about whats bad for them. we are here for support and proanorexia is being there for those who are anorexic which i would not say is good for me. thats that. moving on from that...
i need self control. so badly that i have moved from ana and found comfort in binging and purging. i used to count my calories and never go over 400 hundred... daily. i was so stable and now its like i have become completely and ultimately obcessed with food. like i will go to fucking mcdonalds, or chipolte or anywhere and order a million things and go home and eat every bite and then throw up and then eat what i have at home and throw up. i know this is not beneficial because i should be eating somehting that is not going to stick to my bones if i wait to long to purge you know?
ultimately i need a good diet pill... as i said early so if any of you ladies have had luck with any besides green tea fat burning which i am already taking... please let me know.
Thanks... :)
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June 12th, 2006
12:32 am
fuck.
she keeps trying to get him back.
i have not eaten all day.
good.
keep it up.
the more drama.
the less food.
the more worrying.
the more sick i feel.
i am gunna fucking puke.
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March 13th, 2005
12:07 pm
FRIENDS ONLY
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04:24 am
remember your choice
i can hear your voice ...still
you had your fill of those little reminders
theres only bills and sleeping pills
what if they're right?
NOTE TO SELF: this isn't living
THIS IS MERELY EXISTING
breathe
c'mon breathe
just breathe
"it'll all be better soon"
you say as you cross the room
to pull up the shade
please don't
please don't for my sake
my early morning eyes
just can't take the light right now
so turn out the light
just close out the light and seal me in
i'll sleep for days and days
on end
so turn out the light
leave me lying here in this coffin
i'll breathe only half as often
turn out the light
this isnt living
THIS IS MERELY EXISTING
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